Category Archives: Humor

No Stanky Cheese for Christmas

No stanky cheese for Christmas My good wife said to me. No Camembert, no Limburger, No pungent, agèd brie. At this year’s Christmas table Such “cheese” shall have no place Among the meats and roots and greens Its smell is … Continue reading

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Song: There’s no Calvin like John Calvin

(Sung to the tune of “There’s no Business like Show Business.”) The Elders, the Deacons, the Choir, the Church, are generally known to be a stodgy bunch, and yet, The Elders, the Deacons, the Choir, the Church, all smile and … Continue reading

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A new verse for “The Mikado”

In Gilbert & Sullivan’s “Mikado”, Koko a tailor under a death sentence is appointed Lord High Executioner with the reasoning that before he can cut off someone’s head, he has to cut his own off . Nevertheless, he has a list. … Continue reading

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Poem: Sara Beers’ Bread

With fish and loaves Our Blessed Lord the starving masses fed. Miraculously proving Him the Church’s Sovereign Head. Alas! No crust remains whereon our butter we might spread. The nearest we can come today is Sara Beers’ Bread. At Hastings, … Continue reading

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The Rules

I must begin by telling you that I cannot take credit for “The Rules”. No, a wiser man than I wrote them down, or perhaps it was a group of men, each one wiser and older than the next, meeting … Continue reading

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On Argument and Why Men Should Never Show Their Legs in Public

“He that complies against his will, is of his own opinion still”1 Argument is an intrinsic part of our interaction with other creatures. The first recorded argument is found in the book of Genesis, Chapter 3: 1 Now the serpent … Continue reading

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Poem: Python Meat

You can eat (You can eat!) Python meat (Python meat!) It’s a treat (What a treat!) Can’t be beat (Can’t be beat!) Make a roast (A juicy roast!) That you can slice on… You just have to go down south … Continue reading

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Poem: Patter upon an Umbrella

Whilst I strolled one summer Sunday, came a tree within my reach. Overarched like an umbrella, I there picked myself a peach. From the path a gentle lady did observe my moral breach. I approached her hoping she would not … Continue reading

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Poem: The Office Refrigerator

How good it is to have at work a large refrigerator, in which, to leave and then retrieve our food, sooner or later. If say, perhaps, a memory lapse should cause our lunch to linger so long that eating it … Continue reading

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Lateness

STATE OF FLORIDA DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS INTEROFFICE MEMORANDUM MEMO TO: Superintendent Marta Villacorta FROM: Sergeant Louis William Rose DATE: May 6, 1994 SUBJECT: Lateness Ma’am: Yesterday, along with about a dozen other officers, I was one minute late for briefing. … Continue reading

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